literature

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passingavery's avatar
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Literature Text

Spare the spider, you said,
for it's more afraid of you,
but I turned on the offensive anyway,
the newspaper curled into my hand
like claws clenched for the crushing,
and you stared at me as though
you couldn't believe that fear was this contagious.

I remember seeing its body brushed against brick
the way a bruise molds its way
across the skin, surprise paved like pigments
in the scattering of its legs,
cupped at angles that looked like palms
pursed for prayer, stretching across the air
as though to say –

I wouldn't have hurt you
like this.


And I raised the folded paper
one last time, my eyes seeing only
the twitching of legs, your own gaze
sprawled upon the movement
of my hand, as though to say
that the world held captive
to bigger monsters than this.
:icondonotuseplz::iconmyartplz:
:iconccwelcomedplz1::iconccwelcomedplz2:

submission for -- experimental poetry
written by & therefore belongs to -- passingavery 

dedicated to a friend who kills earthworms in her poems. here's a spider death for you.

listening to --
superpowerless by the kills
© 2010 - 2024 passingavery
Comments14
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mspadfoot2's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Impact

I really like the concept. To me, it seems as if you are commenting on the violence prevalent in society through the killing of a spider. Maybe I'm looking too far into it, but there seems to be a deeper meaning to a poem that is, on the surface, about something that may seem silly.

I also like the unique take on the killing of spiders. Most people don't think about it, but you dig deeper with interesting imagery and describe it in such detail that the action is almost unrecognizable.

There are a few things that bother me. First of all, the last two lines seem to be awkward. I don't know what you are talking about and there seems to be a word missing. Maybe it should be "the world IS held captive to bigger monsters than this"?

Another thing is that I'm a little confused as to who the "you" is. Who is talking in the very beginning? It seems to be that you switch the "you" from some other person the narrator is with to the spider itself. It is confusing.